How To Have An Awesome Conversation
Have you ever watched two or more people have a conversation but with everyone trying to speak over the next person? Maybe one of the last times you saw that, you probably were one of those people speaking over the other person trying very hard to get your points across.
Do you feel like there could be a better way to get your point across without having to dissolve into everyone speaking at the same time? Well, yes there is and I bring you that way today. Before moving into that, let us pick some lessons from reading and writing letters.
Remember the last time you read a letter? What happened? You read through the letter until you got to the final end of it before you responded. Responding before the end of the letter clearly means that you can miss messages that are tucked way ahead in the letter.
You calmly read the letter, wait till you get to the end, then respond. It is as if you are waiting for the writer to say I am done before you respond. Now imagine we did the same thing during conversations. Imagine we ask the question “Are you done?”. Imagine that everything the person says is a letter you are trying to read and can only perfectly respond when the person is done.
When the person is done, you are sure they have given you all the information you need and you can respond confidently. The first opposition you might have to this wahy of having a conversation is that the other person might just never give you any chance to respond. My response to that isif you are having a conversation with a person who would not give you a chance to respond, then you are probably having a conversation with the wrong person in the first place.
Can you imagine what goes on in the mind of the person who you are speaking with if the person cannot give you a time to respond. They are probably giving you a chance to speak but not listening to what you are saying. Of what use then is what you are saying? I mean who benefits when you talk and no one listens.
Therefore, before you begin a conversation where you want both parties to gain from what everyone is saying, the first and simple point is to be the one who listens. If you listen, you can truly hear what the person is saying. Then you can direct how the conversation goes.
Most times, people use words to express how they feel and just observing how they feel sometimes gives a better information about how them. If you want to have a conversation that is useful, before you respond, keep asking the question “Are you done?” and until the person says YES, keep everything you have to yourself.
Asking “Are you done?” makes the other person truly feel like you are listening and allows them see from your perspective. Well, not everyone would see from your perspective. That is not something in your control I must say.
So as you prepare to have the next conversation with a friend, colleague or anyone you might come across, allow time for the person to express themselves, ask them if they are done before you proceed.
Another issue you might have with this type of conversation is the other person not respecting when you are speaking and trying to cut in between. You can calmly remind them and point them to what you are doing and explain that the conversation you are having can only be meaningful if both of you follow this simple rule.
If this does not work out, it clearly shows the conversation is not working out and there is not need to have it in the first place. Feel free to end such conversation and have it maybe another time.
I hope this step helps you have conversations where all parties involved truly feel their opinions are being listened to rather than everyone just speaking over one another. Thanks so much for reading and God bless.
